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“What Is My Illness Telling Me?”
A Saint-Germain Channel
By Alexandra Mahlimay and Dan Bennack
Cluj-Napoca, Romania
http://www.joyandclarity.com
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"Dear Saint-Germain,
"I would like to ask about the appearance of cancer in my breast and lymph nodes. What do I need to know about this, or do, in order to allow my perfect healing as soon as possible? What is my cancer telling me? Thank you for helping me with this question. Thank you very much." (Question parahrased)
Beloved One,
Before we start, let’s be clear about something; especially for the sake of Alexandra and Dan, who are facilitating this communication. The guidance I am providing here is for your Inner Knowing. It is not medical advice. Please remember that only you are in charge of your life. You will find an appropriate physical solution and spiritual resolution to any situation, as you come to trust your Self completely.
I, Saint-Germain, invite you now to pause. Spend a moment in silence and breathe. You are going to the depths of Who You Really Are. Let us do this together. Allow your Inner Knowing to show the way.
This is an unexpected journey, it’s true. But your experience of it, is entirely up to you. The Real You. Be not afraid.
- Taking Charge of Your Life -
Our good friend, although it may not seem this way now, you can take charge of this situation, and your whole life, at any time you choose. It is just that you have forgotten how to do this. You have become accustomed to living in a different way during these last years.
Being in charge of your life is not so much about directing it toward an outcome that you desire. It’s about how you feel with your life in each moment that you are living it. Life simply IS. But the way you feel about it, is always your choice. Do you feel helpless? Do you feel happy? This is entirely up to you.
I am challenging you now. I am calling upon you to take charge of your life.
You have been living far too long in the shadow of your suffering. And you have believed far too long that this is your true story.
You have asked yourself why this experience of cancer is even necessary. At certain times, you think you hear the answer. It seems to be coming from a “voice” that offers you a good reason – a plausible explanation. But if you will listen carefully, you will find that this is not a voice you can rely upon.
This voice prefers to rationalize the circumstances and suffering in your life, rather than offer you credible insight or help. At some level, you know this. You know that this voice cannot be counted upon for any real assistance – just as you know that you must be firm with yourself now in dealing with your health situation. You know that you need to be decisive, but you have called upon me to “get tough” with you, instead.
Yes, you have asked me to be firm and insightful with you, when it is really YOU who needs to be firm and insightful with yourself.
- What Do You Need Right Now? -
What do you need in your present situation?
I would say that more than anything, you need to feel the love that your Soul has for you. You need to feel loved and safe, and to know that you haven't been abandoned by the One Who Gave You Life.
I am here to tell you that you have not been abandoned. I’ve been sending you this message for a while, but you haven’t believed me.
Why not? I am asking you now, why you haven’t believed me? And why have you not believed your Soul, when it has been telling you the same thing – that you are loved and safe, and that you are sheltered in the arms of God?
The reason that you have not believed this, is that you have been distracted by a game that someone is playing with you.
Here is that game.
The voice that you hear speaking to you – the one that rationalizes your circumstances, rather than offering real advice or decisiveness – is only pretending to help you. It offers platitudes and clichés. Not real wisdom or compassion.
It reminds you that you are not alone, and it tells you that you are loved. But these are just empty phrases that it parrots. It repeats them, but it does not understand them. Real wisdom is beyond its capability. It can only offer you empty truisms, not fundamental Truth.
The voice that you hear is your ego… and this is why, after its message is delivered, you still question your understanding of what is happening to you, and whether you are really loved or not.
- Are You Feeling Stigmatized? -
My dear, oftentimes you feel lonely. You feel isolated from the happiness in the world. You feel set apart from families that sit together and laugh. You feel isolated from those who are content and at peace with their lives.
Sometimes you ask yourself, "Why can't I be happy like that? I would give anything to feel that way." But this only makes you feel more alone and alienated from real satisfaction.
You have felt isolated and stigmatized at many times during your life.
Yes, my dear. You have isolated yourself. You have camouflaged and hidden yourself in the most interesting ways.
It's not as though you are refusing to take part in life, and in the world around you. On the contrary, you do. Yes, you are there, and quite visible to others.
But when you are there, you feel a separation between you and those you encounter. You believe that you aren’t really connecting. You feel that you don't really belong, and that you are stigmatized. You may even hear a voice telling you, "This is not the right place for me, after all. I am not really wanted here."
Why do you do this? Why do you have to isolate yourself so much? Is this world really such a bad place for you to be? Do you really have to believe that you are fated to live a life of loneliness?
- Are You Worthy of Love? -
At the level of causality, your cancer is manifesting these confused and unconscious beliefs about yourself. It is asking you, “Are you worthy of love and acceptance by others, or not?”
Your cancer has exteriorized this conflict for you. It is forcing you, and the world to look at you. To see that part of you that feels isolated from the love you desire, and the part of you that is angry about it.
For many years, you have felt that there is something wrong with you. You have believed that you are marginalized by others because you are defective as a human being, and therefore worthy of rejection. You have felt stigmatized by this. This belief has caused you to suffer, but only to the extent that you have agreed to identify with it. Please know that you ARE responsible for your identification with this belief, even though you may feel that it was imposed upon you by others.
Another part of you knows very clearly that you are worthy of love and recognition. However, it believes that this has been withheld from you by others. It is indignant about this. In retaliation, it tries to dictate and control the flow of love around you because it feels that others have done the same to you, unfairly. This belief about who you are, has also caused you to suffer. But only to the extent that you have unconsciously identified yourself with it.
Remember, the beliefs you entertain about who you are, whether they are conscious or unconscious, ALWAYS have consequences. You are always responsible for how you choose to identify yourself.
- Who Are You Really? -
You need to know that you are not these beliefs about “who you think you are.” You are not stigmatized or isolated from love, and you do not need to retaliate against the world for this perceived mistreatment.
“You are a Child of God, and God also. This is the Truth About You.” This is all you need to remember.
If you are not fundamentally clear about this, then your misbeliefs about who you are, will only confuse you. They will remain largely unconscious, quite often contradict each other, and eventually contribute to your suffering and not to your well-being or happiness.
Unconscious beliefs are part of the false you. This is the ego. Anytime you identify strongly with a misperception about who you are, choosing to accept this false information as true, then that belief can take on a life of its own. In your mind, it will become you, and you will become it.
It is not uncommon for the ego to manage several of these sub-personalities at a time. In your case, there are at least two that are expressing themselves through the appearance of your cancer. One is called “Stigmatized.” The other is called “Indignant.”
- “What Is My Cancer Telling Me?” -
When you are feeling Stigmatized, you really believe that you are worthy of reproach, rejection, and isolation by others. You want to be loved, but you believe that there is something wrong with you, or that you have done something that merits this treatment from others.
But when you are feeling Indignant, you become angry about it. You become stubborn and demanding because others have not loved you in the way that you expected.
When you are Indignant, you demand the attention of others. You expect attention as tribute for the suffering and isolation that you have had to endure during your life. It’s not that you are feeling particularly loving or affectionate toward others. Instead, you are seeking retribution. It’s a way to punish them (and the world) for not loving you, in the way that you would have liked when you were younger.
Your cancer is a way for your ego to play the roles of Stigmatized and Indignant at the same time. Here is how it works…
By using this cancer to feel defective and marginalized by others (a feeling that you have often had), you now have the perfect reason to accept this condition as your reality. Your ego has gone beyond rationalizing its misbeliefs about your identity, and has given you the “gift of cancer” as a way to demonstrate and finally prove to you that you ARE in fact, Stigmatized.
Your ego has also given you the “gift of cancer” as a way to get the attention and sympathy from others that you have always wanted to feel – and that Indignant demands from the world for having been ignored so long. “How can they neglect you now, when the cause of your misery is so apparent?” This is what your ego is telling you now, when it plays the role of Indignant.
Your ego is trying to satisfy both of these erroneous beliefs about yourself at the same time. But it is a game.
Your cancer is a symbol to yourself, and to the world, that you feel stigmatized, but that you also deserve love and attention because of it. It is the perfect way to get it… or is it? Will people finally love and support you because of your illness, or will they further shun you because of the fear they have around the stigma of your cancer?
And if they get too close to you with their love and support, or by telling you how you ought to deal with this challenging situation, will you push them away indignantly as punishment for your past grievances? Or will you let them be there for you, just as they are?
This insane solution that your ego has found – to let you believe that you are Stigmatized, Indignant, and loved, all at the same time – may actually be backfiring now. Isn’t it time to expose this game for what it is; drop it, and move on?
Why not focus, instead, on the Truth? “You are a Child of God, and God also. This IS the Truth About You.” Believe this, and watch your life change.
- Life Is Meant for You -
My dear, the life that your Creator has envisioned for you is a different one. You are meant to live a life of joy, happiness, and bliss. Even now, the mention of it may seem unreal to you.
Yes, you are meant to live a life that is free from pain, fear, and suffering.
Now, how do you claim that life? How do you claim the life that your Creator had in mind for you when you came to Earth?
Well, dear friend. It is quite simple. And yet, you believe it requires too much from you. Yes, you still believe the voice of the ego that constantly rationalizes your circumstances to you. You believe it, when it tells you that too much is required of you. That you have to look at yourself and figure out too many complicated things.
But the truth is that nothing is required of you. Nothing, other than letting go.
So, it all comes down to who is making the decisions here. Who is taking charge of your life? Are you going to let your ego sacrifice your body and your life for the sake of conflicting beliefs about who you are? Or are you going to take charge here? Are you going to take charge of your Inner Life and purge all that is false about you, so that only the Truth remains? Are you willing to let the falseness go, in order to live with the Truth?
Yes, you can truly let go of the pain, fear, and suffering that your ego has used to keep you imprisoned with false identities for so long.
But how do you do that?
First, you should understand that you are destined for a life of joy. It is God's Will for you. Even for you! Yes.
Then, you are invited to look at the role-playing game that your ego has created for you. Look at these roles. Name them. Expose them. And anytime feeling Indignant or Stigmatized appears to be your only choice... choose again. Reach even deeper, and find out what is there beyond this belief in suffering. When you do, you will find that peace is there. And you will find an ocean of love. Yes, an ocean of great, all encompassing love. This is God's Love. It is God's Love for you, too.
It is there for you to touch, to feel, and to invite back into your life. Accept it, dear friend. And then, make it happen. Bring that Love into your life, and make it your daily companion. Let it be your guide in life. You deserve it. You deserve it deeply.
Feel the waves of God’s Love washing over you now, cleansing this cancer from your body and correcting the lies and misperceptions about you that have poisoned your mind.
Know that as you heal your mind, you will take an important step in treating the physical condition of your cancer. It is not the only step that you will take. But it is essential. It will put you back in charge of your Inner Life. And from this place of Inner Truth, your physical health will have the greatest potential for improvement.
You are deeply loved, my dearest.
I Am Saint-Germain.
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