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I was empowered to write this blog as I feel that the information that will pour out will hopefully benefit others. To tackle and let go of the past and move forward into the present and then onwards to the future with a gentler understanding of how we deal with ends and look forward to beginnings.
The Roman God Janus is represented by two heads back to back. It is also given to the month of January and the story goes that one head faces the past the other looks forward to the future. His name also was given to the month of January which is pretty neat when you think he gets to see in the New Year and say goodbye to the old. It’s the time of new beginnings, fresh promises that sometime easily get broken. Janus is also the door keeper as like a door it opens both in and out of the room, so he gets to see what’s behind him and what is to come.
Janus name is said to be linked with to our American friend the word Janitor a keeper of buildings normally schools. I immediately think of a cartoon Recess, of the Beano and the Bash Street Kids and finally Potter in the old comedy classic Please Sir. These people spent hours running around usually after teachers and cleaning up after all the spills and spoils of daily life. So like all teachers we make a mess and need help to clear up.
Janus or January which is my New years thoughts allow me to realise that this month is a month of cleaning up and throwing out it also a time that we reflex the past having spent the last couple of months hoping that we will meet that certain someone or the certain someone will wake up and realised what they have thrown away.
Next month I will talk of new love as it’s the month for lovers. Till then I am showing you that standing at the door like Janus it does no good to look back and think what if I had done something different. At the time you choose what you felt was right your gut reaction. You often take someone back and give them a second chance and with a real lot of effort on both parts it can and does work. (But then again don’t beat yourself up if it don’t)
Plus often with the pressure of life style and families we want it to work we hate to be alone at Christmas because it seems that others are so happy to be honest it’s the highest season of suicide and brake ups then any other time of the year.
In previous articles the reason season or lifetime I spoke about how we meet people for different reasons and how some are there for precious moments others come and go like a bad smell which you cant seem to get rid of and others your stuck with the complications of the feelings of things that started right and end wrong.
We often hang on to them like clothes we are desperate to fit in but reality they never really fitted that well and even when we managed to squeeze ourselves into them kept wondering if they go the full hall or we see someone else with a better colour or style making us feel or wonder why we were wearing them in the first place.
I know those of you know reading this will understand what I am talking about. Its not really clothes but relationships. Letting an X back thinking better the devil you know. Trusting someone not to hurt you but still knowing or feeling deep down when the bottom will fall out.
The thing is that it’s ok to try but please don’t beat yourself up afterwards because if you haven’t have tried you always been wondering why. You cant change the past but you can change the future go through the door way with good intentions and your make the start leave the past behind its easy to have rose coloured glasses when you remember all good times it then we have selected memory loss which makes us all temporary insane.
Again this can happen because we all need motivation; we need a goal to strive for. At times when we walk away its hard then times goes on and we get confident again only to be swayed by a smile a sudden text or blast from the past and not the good kind. The kind of bad boy kind that makes us feel special or excited it like you know you might get caught but that’s half of it the kill or perhaps you have realised your the prey all over again.
Then it all goes to pot you can’t live with them and your cant live without them. You don’t know if you’re Arthur or Martha and everyone else around you thinks you’re mad and you need your head examined. This is where you need the flash of light to go back in the head to warn you that the promise of change is only backed up with the actual deed.
They say the proof of a good pudding is in the eating well if you let him eat do you really believe that he will save you some OH! hang on a minute the flying pig just flew past. Wake up and smell the Roses.
Is it all doom and gloom? No! Why because for warned is for armed. If when it strikes and at sometime some where it might you will hopefully think well I gave it another go. Then stop punishing yourself and the road to recovery will happen so much faster. The damage to others around you will be limited and you will hang on to self respect and quite happily chuck that top out realising you did not really want or like it in the first place.
Then you just might realise you have seen another top which is not so loud bright or full and realise that if you pass Janus in the door way smile and tell yourself the month only last for thirty one days and next month you can start thinking about what you want knowing that you have finally left behind the past and can get on with the present and future.
I am already looking forward to what they want to share about the months of February.
Annielise Stone One month to Valentines day!
power : moving on new beginnings :
power : moving on new beginnings :
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